Of dice and men

Cheap Vegas flights gave easy access to Utah’s parks, so we finished the trip on Miracle Mile.

Long ago, it took only one trip to get it out of my system, but work took me back there many, many more times - maybe a dozen times over the next decade. Yay.

Abby’s first trip to the Strip, however, provided the chance to see things with fresh eyes:

• Sidewalk selfies with barely-there showgirls or Chip & Dale

• Returning dudes in the morning lobby, still reeking of beer and Eau de Bro

• Tiara’ed brides and T-shirted bridesmaids (She’s getting married. I’m getting trashed!)

• Retirees in the Slow Lane and meandering paces to prove it

• Doubling down by the Down & Out

A Cardi-B type hit it big at the roulette table. Wrinkly, rich guys and their “girlfriends” in relationships likely measured in hours, if not minutes, depending on the current run of luck. It didn’t take long for Abby to acknowledge, “Daddy, it’s basically Disneyland for grown-ups.”

One new thing for me: smoke. It was EVERYWHERE. While cigarettes and booze aren’t new to Sin City, Nevada’s relatively recent adoption of recreational weed is. 2017 rang in a happy new year indeed, and Puff the Magic Dragon has been firing up and breathing deep ever since. I guess Mary J takes away the sting of defeat when the winnings go up in smoke.

Speaking of…

Hostess extraordinaire, Abby Pender, recently got a $2 bill as an apology tip from a customer who hung up on her while trying to make a reservation, which the restaurant doesn't take. It seemed an appropriate sacrifice to the Gambling Gods, so she fed it to a nearby slot machine. 2 spins – lost the first, won the second. Walked away with fifty cents. Only took 30 seconds to be down 75%.

“Wait, what? That’s it?”

It sure is, Kiddo.

In 10 years, I never lost a dime in Las Vegas. The secret? I never laid down a dime.

No risk, no reward. Oh yeah - and no loss.

I wanted us to have a nice place on the last night, and a well-intentioned, experienced gambler friend wanted to help. Within minutes Mary Mims* had a Hotwire lead:

$159...5 stars...right on the Strip Seemed like good odds, so I rolled the dice.

Not shy about my politics (see previous post on national park funding), I was SHOCKED to learn I had just booked at Trump International.

Are you kidding me? Make me gag again.

Nice room, though.

Good breakfast.

Winner winner, MAGA dinner.

*name changed to protect the guilty